STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can also be if you determine that it must be so. This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than hope or a wish, more than knowing it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have enough strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. After you had made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:
A GUIDE TO SELF-CONTROL:
1. Never touch the intimate parts
of your body except during normal toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this
good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST
BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same
weakness. Don't suppose that two will quit together, you never will. You must
get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your
problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for
that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome
things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in the mirror. Never stay in the bath
more than five or six minutes - just long enough to bathe and dry and dress
AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member
of the family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress
yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts,
and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those
clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have
sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED
AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle
of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining
weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING
ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it
out of mind. Remember - "First a thought, then an act." The thought
pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to stay in your mind.
When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books - Church
books - Scriptures - Sermons of the Cistern. Make a daily habit of reading at
least one chapter of the Scripture, preferably one of the four Gospels in the
New Testament. The four Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke and john - above anything
else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend
to keep in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding
of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your
friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING
IT EVER - NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT OUT
of your mind! the attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how
easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control
the habit. As a person understands his reason for the behavior, and is sensitive
to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops
the power to control it. we are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and
are to be clean so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is
a sinful habit that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress.
It is not physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit
that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper
use of the procreative powers given to man to fulfill eternal purpose. It is
therefore separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan. This self-gratifying
activity will cause one to lose his self-respect testimony becomes weak, and
missionary work and other Church callings become burdensome offerings. To help
in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a brief orientation
is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man function. The testes
in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions of sperm cells which
travel to the vas deferens to place called the ampulla where they are mixed
with fluids from two membranous pouches called seminal vesicles and the prostate
gland. It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night. Often
an erotic dream is experienced at the same time, and is a part of this normal
process. Instead, the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace,
trying to keep up with the loss of semen. When he stops the habit, the body
will continue to produce at his increased rate. As one meets with his Priesthood
Leader, a person for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some sort
of therapy. remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed
upon, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.
SUGGESTIONS
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts
of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently
and not lout when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. Exercise reduces emotional tension
and depression, and is absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double
your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "STOP" to those
thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a pre-chosen Scripture
or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from
the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally
commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to "never again"
you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed
self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily
overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving
your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and
others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy
working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found
in books such as "How to Win Friends and Influence people" by Dale
Carnegie.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely,
bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire
to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods
through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing
something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but
show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self-control, color the day black.
Your goal will be to have "no black days". The calendar becomes a
strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked at when you are
tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least
three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times
and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular
times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break
the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called
"aversion therapy". When we associate or think of something distasteful
with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful
thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If
you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will
help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think
of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the
act.
12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower
curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief
showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what
time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic
activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before
retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly
as possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create
sexual excitement.
18. It is something helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this
problem. A bible firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful
in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame
with a tie in order that the habit of masturbation in a semi-sleep condition
can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing
which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big
reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend
it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your
progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which
were part of your problem. "Satan Never Gives Up". Be calmly and confidently
on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and
strength you feel when you will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual
glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
Steps in Overcoming Masturbation was written by Mark E. Petersen (a member of
the Council of the 12 Apostles) and was distributed as a pamphlet written for
churches and religious groups in Buffalo, N.Y. in 1989.