EXIT

COMMUNICATIONS TO ALL BRETHREN
(INFORMATION) from ROBERT DE GRIMSTON

What you will read on the following pages was written by Robert de Grimston,
Founder of The Process - Church of the Final Judgement.

It was written by him over a period of nearly two years, originally only for internal
Brethren of The Process (which explains the term ‘BI’ - Brethren Information).

Some of the earlier BI’s will point out to the reader the toughness of the road that
we of The Process undertook to travel.

We knew it would be hard. None of us had any illusions about that, since we all
as human beings have travelled so far downwards from our original point of purity.
Equally we knew that there was a time limit to the hard part of the journey, a time
limit to the feelings of pain and negativity we had to feel, in order to complete our
- for want of a better word - expiation.

If you, the reader, follow our progress through the book, you will see the point
where the beginning of the breakthrough occurs, You will see the breakthrough
itself. And you will see what is on the other side of the breakthrough.

From feelings of failure to knowledge of success; from the shackles of death and all
that death represents, to the certainty of life and everything that goes with that
certainty; the joy, the fun, the strength and confidence, and every other feeling of
positivity that is part of the certainty of life and love.

What is contained in this book is an integral part of our progression. It is the
awareness of The Gods channelled by Robert de Grimston, who has given us
permission to publish his work.

The BI’s we have chosen to include are the ones we feel are most immediately
applicable for those of you who feel caught up in the human game of conflict,
dissatisfaction and disillusion; the human game, from the miseries of which, we of
The Process, from personal experience, know: THERE IS AN EXIT.

BI 7

The Universal Law

THE PROCESS
CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT
ROME
December 1968

COMMUNICATION TO ALL BRETHREN (INFORMATION)

1

Brethren, As it is, so be it.

The Universal Law covers all aspects of existence.

WHAT A MAN GIVES, HE MUST RECEIVE. THE EFFECTS A MAN CREATES, ARE CREATED UPON HIM IN RETURN.

Therefore if we wish to receive something, we must give it.

CHRIST taught:
Do unto others as you would they should do unto you.
This is no empty moralising, but the teaching of survival, based upon knowledge of the Universal Law.

And if we do not wish to receive something, we should not give it. Ultimately we give only to ourselves; but in order to do so, we must give to others.

THIS IS THE ETERNAL PARADOX; ONLY UPON OURSELVES HAVE WE THE POWER TO CREATE EFFECTS, BY OUR OWN CHOICE; BUT IN ORDER TO DO SO, WE MUST CREATE EFFECTS UPON OTHERS, BY THEIR CHOICE.

What is the answer to this riddle?

We give, in order to receive. We give joy, in order to receive joy. Another receives the joy which we give, having himself given joy to someone else.

But we cannot give joy, except to someone who is in a state to receive it. Like the money lender, who can only lend to a person who is in the market to borrow; his choice is to be available to do business; but with whom he does business, is not his choice. Similarly, our choice is to offer joy, to be available to give joy; but to whom we give it, is not our choice. The person who receives joy from us, does so by his own choice, not ours. We make ourselves available to him; but he receives what we offer, or he rejects it.

So although we must give in order to receive, no one is compelled to receive from us. And if we have rejected what others have offered to us, our offers will be rejected in return; another instance of the Universal Law.

But if we have accepted joy from another, someone will accept joy from us. Then, because we have given joy, we shall receive it. We shall be offered it, and we shall find ourselves able to accept it.

The Universal Law creates a universal exchange, where giving and receiving are practised with absolute precision. No one gives what he does not receive, or receives what he does not give.

‘WHO SHEDS MAN'S BLOOD, BY MAN SHALL HIS BLOOD BE SHED.’ ‘WHO LIVES BY THE SWORD, SHALL DIE BY THE SWORD.’

These are not justifications for capital punishment; they are plain statements of fact, stemming from the Universal Law.

Man does not have to take it upon himself to implement the Law, any more than he has to turn the earth upon its axis in order to create the cycle of days and nights. The Law is a fact, not a regulation with which we are obliged to comply.

We do not have to force nature to follow its own laws. It does so in its own way, in its own good time. And like nature, the Universal Law is a balance. Sometimes it will seem to be weighed too heavily upon one side, it will tilt, perhaps steeply. But always the pressures caused by the tilt, will ultimately bring it level once again.

As man applies stress upon nature, trying to prevent it from following its own laws, so he also combats the inevitable balance of the Universal Law, trying to build up credit for himself, but thereby only falling deeper and deeper into debt. And in both cases, the imbalance is allowed to go only so far, before it is readjusted, often with drastic results.

But whatever man might do, the Law is inexorable.

One man kills another. The first must eventually be killed in order to redress the balance; if not in one lifetime, then in another. His choice is to kill, in order to be killed himself. But it is the choice of the one he kills, that he should be the ‘victims of the killing; perhaps the squaring of one of his own accounts, having himself killed someone else; or perhaps giving his life in order to receive it in return, according to the Law.

ALL BEINGS ARE ULTIMATELY INVULNERABLE, EXCEPT TO THEMSELVES AND THEIR CREATOR.

We open ourselves to the power of destruction, by sending out destruction. A being who has not destroyed, cannot be destroyed
except by the choice of its Creator, however potentially destructive the elements around it might be. Its destruction is its own choice, even though it must use forces outside itself to effect it.

Similarly a being that gives no sustenance, can receive no sustenance
again except from its Creator, however well-intentioned and potentially giving the beings around it might be.

A person cannot take for himself. If he tries, then what he takes will betray him, turn sour for him, give him no joy, or in some way negate itself for him.

IN ORDER TO RECEIVE, WE MUST GIVE. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY. THAT IS THE LAW.

If a man is sick, either in mind or body, then he requires the gift of healing. But he cannot give healing to himself directly. Whether or not he receives the gift, is his choice; but he can only receive it by giving a gift of equal kind and magnitude.

THE HEALER IS HEALED BY HEALING OTHERS, NOT BY MINISTERING TO HIMSELF.

If we desire sustenance, we must give sustenance. If we desire love, we must give love. If we desire help, we must give help. If we desire happiness, we must give happiness. If we desire knowledge, we must give knowledge. If we desire truth, we must give truth.

If we give pain, we shall receive pain. If we give misery, we shall receive misery. If we give loss, we shall receive loss. If we anger, we shall be angered. If we reject, we shall be rejected. If we scorn, we shall be scorned. If we destroy, we shall be destroyed. If we hate, we shall be hated. If we deceive, we shall be deceived. If we disown, we shall be disowned.

This is neither good nor evil; it is the Law.

And the Law applies to substance, not to accidence. Repayment is exact
in substance, but not necessarily in accidence. If you give pain, you will receive pain, in order to redress the balance. But though the kind and the quantity of the pain which returns to you, will be an exact reflection of what you sent out, the means whereby it is given, and the outward manifestation of its giving, are likely to be different.

If you make a child suffer by depriving it of its toy, you are bound to suffer yourself as a result; and probably you will suffer some kind of deprivation; but it won’t be a toy, it will be whatever gives you the same kind of suffering that you inflicted on the child.

The Universal Law may deal to some extent in material objects and circumstances, but only in as far as they cause or lead to or represent, inner states of being; feelings, emotions, attitudes. Basically, the Universal Law deals in abstracts: joy, pain; satisfaction, misery; relaxation, tension; knowledge, ignorance; honesty, deceit; truth, lies; well-being, discomfort; fulfillment, frustration; pleasure, anxiety; hope, fear; life, death; energy, apathy; creation, destruction. These are abstracts; and these are the currency of the Universal Law. Physical circumstances are only the means by which these abstracts are brought into existence.

WHAT A MAN GIVES, HE MUST RECEIVE. WHAT HE DOES NOT GIVE, HE CANNOT RECEIVE. IN ORDER TO RECEIVE THEREFORE, WE MUST GIVE.

We cannot change ourselves; but others can change us. We can choose to be changed by others, by helping to change others. So it is our choice, though not our direct action. We bring about a change within ourselves, but indirectly, by helping to bring about changes in others.

But therefore do not say: ‘You must not destroy, otherwise you will be destroyed’; but rather: ‘Destroy by all means, but with the knowledge that the destruction will return to you.’

Neither say: ‘You must give life, so that you will be given life’; but rather: ‘Give life or not as you choose; but recognise that what you give, shall be returned to you in full measure.

For nothing is evil, if it is for GOD; and nothing is good if it is for man estranged from GOD.

IF A BEING DESTROYS WHAT IS EVIL, FOR GOD, THEN THE EVIL IN HIM IS DESTROYED AS RECOMPENSE. AND IF A BEING GIVES LIFE TO WHAT IS EVIL, FOR MAN, THEN THE EVIL IN HIM IS GIVEN LIFE.

So say rather: ‘Preserve that which you would have preserved within you, and destroy that which you would have destroyed within you.’

TO GIVE LIFE TO WHAT IS GODLESS, IS EQUAL TO DEALING DEATH TO THAT WHICH IS OF GOD.

TO LIGHT CANDLES IN HELL, IS EQUAL TO OBSCURING THE LIGHT OF HEAVEN.

But do not make the mistake of identifying people with the evil that they manifest. In the last analysis, they may do this themselves, and thereby destroy themselves irrevocably; but that is their choice, not ours. No man is either saved or doomed, until the Final Judgement is made; and that Judgement is not any man’s to make.

Nor should we identify people with the society in which they live, even though they themselves might do so. Again, that is their choice, not ours.

You cannot destroy people and be destroying only evil. Destroy their values, their agreements, their aims, their fears, their prejudices, if these are evil in your terms. (If you are wrong, they will be ultimately indestructible, so the only harm will be to yourself.) Destroy the material and social codes by which they live, if these also seem to you evil. But do not identify the people themselves with these things, or you will find yourself destroying them as well.

There will be destruction of people. ‘For it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!’ The destroyers will destroy one another, by the relentless logic of the Universal Law. But do not be amongst them. Separate men from man, men from the world of men, men from humanity. Then you need only destroy evil by replacing it with good.

IN ORDER TO RECEIVE, WE MUST GIVE. THAT IS THE LAW.

But the world of men lives by the inversion of the Law.

Subject to the Law, as is all existence, but equally subject to its own inversion of GOD’s Truth, and to the self-deception which maintains that inversion, humanity attempts to destroy all that is of GOD; the natural cycles of growth, change and decay, the natural structures of animal and plant life, the knowledge and awareness of GOD’s agency in all existence, the natural passage of Divine Will and Intention, and all sense of Divine Inspiration and Guidance.

At the same time it seeks to preserve and promote all that is of man; man’s laws and customs, man’s demands for his own sustenance and well-being, man’s creations, man’s rights, man’s supremacy over all things, man’s agreements and decisions, and the entire structure of man’s materialistic way of life.

Hence all that is of man is preserved in man. He remains human and materialistic, bound to his mortality, beset by fears and conflicts, ruled by his own mechanical creations, overwhelmed by his own technology, confused and persecuted by his own contradictory laws and customs, burdened by greater and greater demands for greater and greater rights and privileges, and overtaken by the uncontrollable march of his beloved dream of scientific progress. While on the other hand, he becomes more and more GODless; more and more physical and mental, and less and less spiritual, as all that is of GOD is destroyed within him.

Man becomes a grasping materialistic and intellectual machine. His human appetites, both physical and mental, increase, and agonise him with their incessant unfulfilled demands for satisfaction. And satisfaction recedes further and further away from him.

His values are worldly. The scope of his knowledge and awareness, is limited to the physical human world in which he lives.

As he eliminates the presence of GOD from the world, so, in return, the presence of GOD is eliminated from his own state of being. As he destroys and disfigures the evidence of GOD’s existence around him, so is destroyed within him, his own awareness of GOD’s existence; his GODliness and immortality.

That is the Law, and all existence is subject to it.

But man has forgotten the Law; otherwise he could find no justification for his way of life.

AS WE GIVE, SO SHALL WE RECEIVE. THAT IS THE LAW.

If humanity remembered the Law, it would know how to judge itself. It would know how to assess its own position in relation to good and evil.

THE PRINCIPLE OF SELF-JUDGEMENT IS THIS: A PERSON MAY ACCURATELY JUDGE WHAT HE GIVES, BY WHAT HE RECEIVES.

If he receives pain, it can only be because he gives pain. If he receives joy, it is because he gives joy.

If he feels insecure, it is because he gives no security. If he is confident, it is because he gives confidence.

If he feels deprived, it is because he deprives others. If he is cared for, it is because he cares for others. If he is ignored, it is because he ignores others.

If he is stimulated, it is because he gives stimulation. If he is bored, it is because he is boring.

If he is offended, it is because he offends. If he receives kindness, it is because he is kind.

If he feels hurt, it is because he makes others feel hurt. If he feels loved, it is because he makes others feel loved.

BY WHAT IS DONE TO US, WE CAN KNOW, IF WE WILL, WHAT WE DO TO THOSE AROUND US.

By what is given to us, we can know, if we are prepared to know, what we give to others. By what is taken from us, we can know what we take from others. By what is demanded of us, we can know what we demand of others. By what effects are created on us, we can know what effects we create on others.

Such self-judgement must eliminate all blame; which is the basis of human self-destruction.

If we blame, then others blame us, and still others blame them, and a downward spiral of blame and hostility begins. Because blame brings either the instinct to attack and destroy, or the instinct to alienate, to isolate. Either way is the way of hostility. And the spiral of blame and hostility, is the spiral of self-destruction.

Self-judgement by the Universal Law can prevent that spiral.

But humanity has forgotten the Law. In the world of men there is no such self-judgement. As the End approaches, blame and hostility continue to accelerate. So the climax of human self-destruction, is inevitable.

WHAT WE RECEIVE, IS NO MORE AND NO LESS THAN WHAT WE HAVE GIVEN, RETURNED TO US. THAT IS THE LAW.

BLAME IS THE DENIAL OF THAT LAW.

But what is blame? Is it condemnation?

No. Although in the name of purely human values, and in the interest of self, condemnation stems from blame; in the Name of GOD, and in the interests of right, it stems from the Love of GOD for His own.

For the prophet of GOD condemns human GODlessness, and is, in retum, condemned by those who defend it. That is the Law, and the prophet accepts it. He does not blame. He is forewarned by CHRIST, and thereby forearmed with faith in his rightness to condemn. And his condemnation is spiritual, not physical; a warning only, because he holds no brief to judge people, nor to punish them, only to condenm the structure and the way of life by which they live.

In the Name of GOD, he condemns what is evil, and is condemned, in return, by those who identify themselves with what is evil. That is the Law, and he accepts it. He does not blame.

So what is blame?

It is the denial of the Universal Law. It is a state of mind which says: ‘My suffering stems from you. It is your fault’; or: ‘That man’s pain is caused by them. It is their responsibility’; or: ‘My mistakes are due to your influence’; or: ‘My sin is the responsibility of Satan’; or: ‘Humanity’s plight is the fault of an evil few’; or: ‘He is unkind to me, so I reject him’; or: ‘You have brought about my downfall’; or: ‘They have made me afraid’; or: ‘My parents gave me a sense of insecurity’; or: ‘He has destroyed my reputation’; or: ‘I am destitute because people have cheated me.’

That is blame. Feel it; know it. It manifests in every human being in one form or another. Do not be afraid of it. Do not try to suppress it or run away from it. Recognise it; acknowledge it; but begin to see it clearly for what it is; a denial of the Universal Law.

BY WHAT IS DONE TO US, WE CAN KNOW WHAT WE DO TO THOSE AROUND US.

EVIL BELONGS WHERE IT MANIFESTS.

If it manifests in us, in the form of a negative reaction or emotion or attitude, then it belongs to us, because it originally came from us. To lay the blame for its existence on an element or force outside ourselves, achieves nothing, and usually promotes conflict and hostility.

A man feels pain. That is significant; because it tells us where the evil manifests. A man gives pain, and later the same man receives pain, in return for what he has given. That too is significant; because it tells us where the evil belongs. A man feels pain, because of what another man has done to him. That is not significant; because it tells us where the evil manifests, but implies that it belongs elsewhere.

When we give something, or create a particular effect, which in our terms is bad, negative, evil; something we would not care to receive ourselves; that is known as sin; a wrongness, by our own judgement; which is why CHRIST can say with confidence:
Do unto others as you would they should do unto you.

For if we follow this commandment, we can do no wrong; because wrong is only what we ourselves judge to be wrong. It is a deeply founded judgement, and we cannot dismiss it with superficial justifications. It is the voice of conscience within us, and cannot be overridden or erased by outward protests. But it is no less a part of ourselves. So if we only give what we wish to receive, we cannot sin; and if we only create the effects on others which we would be glad to have created on us again we cannot sin.

WHAT WE GIVE WE MUST RECEIVE IN RETURN. THAT IS THE LAW.

If we do sin, if we give what we ourselves judge to be evil, then the account must be balanced. Sometimes it is balanced immediately, with the pain of guilt and remorse. Sometimes further expiation is required. Automatically, and often quite unconsciously, we draw evil on to ourselves, in order to effect such expiation, in order to pay off the debt which we have incurred.

Sometimes the debt piles up, blindly unheeded
except by the deepest levels of consciousness
rationalised, justified, guilt and remorse held at bay. But inevitably comes the time of reckoning, when all balance is redressed and all debts are paid in full. We can run from the Law; we can try to hide from the Law; but we cannot ultimately escape the Law.

And such is the state of man, so deeply blinded is he to the Law and its profound significance.

And if a man is blind, it is because he has blinded others. If his sins are falsely justified, so that his debt increases day by day, it is because he has helped others to falsely justify their sins
.
If a man is in debt almost beyond the reach of salvation, it is because he has led others that deeply into debt. If he feels to be without hope or help or sustenance, it is because he has offered neither hope nor help nor sustenance to others.

That is the Law, and none but GOD can transcend it.

WHAT A MAN GIVES HE MUST RECEIVE.

A man who causes pain, and subsequently suffers pain to balance his account, if he then blames his pain on another, he is likely to follow the blame with hatred and recrimination; retaliation, and thereby yet more pain, inflicted on the one he blames. So that far from paying off his debt, he increases it; because the nature of the human game is such that he who blames is never satisfied. How could he be?

So in his frustration, and in his unfulfilled desire for revenge, he inflicts more and more pain, and becomes trapped in the spiral of an increasing debt of suffering. And unless he halts that spiral in time, recognising his own sense of sin, his own guilt, listening to the voice of his own conscience, and repenting and expiating and reversing the pattern, he must eventually descend beyond recall, destined for a final retribution of eternal alienation from the Source of Life.

But at no time, until the very End of Time, is it too late; to change, to learn the Universal Law, to understand it, to live with it always in mind, and thereby gradually to move from opposition to the Law, which can only bring a constant sense of discord and frustration, to harmony with the Law, and the increasing joy of returning, step by step, to reconciliation with the Source of Life; the all-embracing Love of GOD.

Man, as a race, may be locked irrevocably in the spiral of blame and hostility. But for the individual, there is a way to separate from that spiral. It is not easy, and it takes courage. Because the way of the world is like the current of a fast flowing river. It drags everything with it, so that only the strong-willed and the dedicated, can swim against it.

To blame with the rest is the easy way. The other way, which follows the principle of the Universal Law, is in three stages: the Beginning, the Task, and the Fulfilment.

The Beginning is to learn with the mind, to know with the intellect, to believe with the consciousness. The Task is to remember, always remember, that as we give, so must we receive, and by what is done to us, we can know what we do to those around us. And the Fulfilment is to know and believe with the heart and the soul, so that the knowledge is a part of faith, and the belief becomes a natural way of life.

So in the Beginning, we see blame for what it is. We learn and understand the causes and effects of blame. Then our Task is to go on seeing; seeing blame in ourselves and others; how it manifests, and what effects it creates. And finally, in the Fulfilment, all blame is eliminated. We no longer feel the need to blame.

And therein lies the end of self-destruction, and the conquest of Death.

So be it.

- Robert

ROBERT DE GRIMSTON

BI 5

THE CYCLE OF IGNORANCE

THE PROCESS
CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT
NEW YORK
August 1968

COMMUNICATION TO ALL BRETHREN (INFORMATION)

Brethren, As it is,

The Cycle of Ignorance is a deceptive sequence of mental decisions and realities, which keeps the mind from following a logical train of intuitive awareness. It contains false premises and false assumptions, which mislead, and end in confusion and disillusionment.

The Cycle is based on an apparently logical series of unconscious agreements, which tell a person to follow a particular path, in pursuit of certain goals, with the promise of satisfaction, fulfilment, well being, joy, contentment, or similar rewarding consequences, at the end of that path.

‘If I do that, I shall find satisfaction.’ ‘If I achieve this, . . . if I acquire that, . . . if I reach this goal, . . if I attain that position, . . . if I realise this ambition, I shall find fulfilment.’

The person follows the path, seemingly logical step by seemingly logical step and completes the Cycle, arriving back at precisely the point where he began. Dissatisfaction, but promise of satisfaction, if . . . Frustration, but the promise of fulfilment, if.

The promise has not been fulfilled, either because the goal has not been achieved despite all efforts and apparent intentions, or because its achievement did not after all produce the reward. It produced perhaps a momentary glow of self-satisfaction, a sense of immediate adequacy or success, but not the deep-rooted and lasting sense of fulfilment which was expected.

However, built into the Cycle, as part of its structure, are the necessary justifications to cover either of these possibilities.

‘Ah, but.., if that had not happened’, ‘ ... if they had not done this’,’.., if things had been different’, ‘. . . if he had co-operated’, ‘. . . things didn’t turn out as I expected’, ... . if only I’d done this’,’., . if only I’d had more of that’, ... . if only...’

So although there is a period of disillusionment, the promise remains as strong as ever, and the ‘logic’ as convincing as ever; so the person continues his pursuit, in renewed hope of ultimate success.

The goal might change, if it has been achieved and failed to produce the reward; or it might remain the same but with more scope. The ambition might change, and be replaced with another; or it might expand to yet more distant horizons. The search might change direction; or enlarge its field of vision. But the Cycle continues.

The Cycle of Ignorance is the compulsive pursuit of the Luciferian dream; the illusion, the mirage on the far horizon.

True progress is also cyclic; but it follows a spiral course upwards. Whereas the Cycle of Ignorance, because of its built-in lies, about what is going to be, what can be and what ought to be, does not move upwards, but remains on the same level, and goes round and round in the same vicious circle.

But why is there no progress within the Cycle of Ignorance?

Because the person who follows a mythical hope in the future, and clings to it, and relates everything he does to it, and fixes his attention on it; never takes a real step in the present.

He behaves like a gramophone needle fixed in a groove. Because his attention is fixed in the future, reaching for it, grasping for it, he never satisfies himself within the present; therefore he feels compelled to go on repeating the same cycle over and over again, in the hope that one day he will be satisfied.

IF THERE IS NO ACCEPTANCE OF THE PRESENT, THERE CAN BE NO MOVEMENT INTO A NEW PRESENT, ONLY AN ENDLESS REPETITION OF THE OLD PRESENT.

The person in this state is ‘out of the Game’; not free of the Game, not detached from the Game, but locked outside it; anchored to all the realities of the Game; the values, the agreements and the limitations of the Game; but unable to fulfil himself within those realities.

And the ignorance is cumulative. Every time the person completes one cycle and finds himself, unsatisfied, unfulfilled, at the point of distant promise once again, he has tied himself more tightly outside the Game.

The secret of the Cycle of Ignorance, is its power of illusion. It is illogical; and yet, on the surface, it seems flawless in its logic. Equally it is unchanging; there is no progress, no movement within it; and yet, superficially, it seems to change.

‘Now things will be different’; ‘now my luck will change’; ‘now I’ll find what I’m looking for’; says the prisoner of the Cycle, convinced that he has brought about a basic change in his situation, which will give him the satisfaction he seeks. There is no basic change; only a new set of circumstances; a new car, a new house, a new wife, a new country, a new job, a new idea, a new social status, a new financial status, a new drug, a new treatment, a new government. His problems are the same, his needs are the same, his lacks are the same, his compulsions are the same. But because he has outwardly convinced himself that there is a meaningful change, he continues his pursuit, locked within the Cycle of Ignorance.

The Cycle of Ignorance is a fantasy world; no logic, but the illusion of logic; no change, but the illusion of change.

Any lie in the form of a future possible condition: ‘This will bring me satisfaction’; ‘that will solve all my problems’; ‘this will give me joy’; ‘that will give me contentment’: can lead a person into the Cycle of Ignorance. But the lie above all lies, which maintains the Cycle, is the belief that fulfilment is to be found within a purely human and materialistic structure.

Even the person who strives towards a state of fulfilment based purely on his own mental state, rather than his material circumstances which indicates some awareness can be trapped in the Cycle of Ignorance, through non-acceptance of his present mental state, through rejection of himself as he is in favour of himself as he would like to be, and as he promises himself that he will be. But the person who believes that his well being depends upon things outside himself, his material circumstances, his social status, his acceptability to others; he is bound to be trapped in the Cycle. He sets human and materialistic ambitions for himself, thinking that they are the keys to happiness, and then locks himself in the Cycle, in pursuit of these ambitions.

As long as he fails to attain them, he is frustrated and dissatisfied, but he always has a good ‘reason’ for continuing his pursuit. If and when he does attain them, he discovers that they do not give him the lasting sense of fulfilment which they promised. So he must either give up in despair or go in search of something else; or the same thing extended, expanded. (One million pounds in the bank may not be the answer, but two million must be.) Usually he does not give up. He brings his armoury of justifications into play. ‘This time it will be different’; ‘this time I’m on the right track’; ‘that is what I really need to satisfy me’. So the Cycle continues. Promise, pursuit, disappointment; promise, pursuit, disappointment; promise, pursuit, disappointment.

To break free of the Cycle of Ignorance, you must go to the point where the Cycle begins; the point where the promise manifests; the hope, the anticipation, the superfically altered circumstance, and the renewed expectation of a particular result; the renewed demand for a specific outcome.

Then, instead of telling yourself; ‘now it will be different’, ‘now I’m on the right track’; see the basic sameness of the situation. See the lack of change since you were last at this point of promise. Instead of telling yourself how much things have changed, allow yourself to see how much they have not changed.

Expose the promise; invalidate it; see the lie; invalidate the hope; silence the protest; invalidate the expectation and the demand; instead of validating all of them, as you have done each time around the endless Cycle, thereby fixing yourself all the more tightly within its confines.

Locked in the Cycle of Ignorance, your attention is so firmly fixed on the promised reward of fulfilment, and the particular goal or ambition which you have identified with that reward, that you can see little else with reality; and each time you complete the Cycle goal or no goal, but without receiving the promised reward you increase the power of your fixation on it.

This is the power of failure, when you are in compulsive pursuit of success. It creates a sense of failure, and then another, and then another; and each additional sense of failure, forces you to fix more of your attention on the promised but elusive dream.

Imagine gambling on a fifty-fifty chance, and losing; then staking double the amount in order to cover your loss, and losing again; then double again, and again losing; and so on, always doubling and always losing. That is the Cycle of Ignorance.

Only by detaching from the promise, and from the demand of its fulfilment; by accepting what is, instead of agonising yourself in a futile demand for what might be, or should be, or apparently could be, but is not, can you detach from the Cycle of Ignorance. Bring your attention from ‘out there’, in a future fantasy land, back to ‘in here’, now, the situation as it is.

But the longer you have continued to pursue the fantasy, the more difficult it is to detach from it. The more you have already invested in your dream, the harder it is to abandon it. Not only would you be invalidating the aims and ambitions which you have mistakenly linked with the dream, but also, all the time and energy, which you have expended in your fruitless pursuit of them.

This is so, both consciously and unconsciously. A person who has spent many years with his sights set on becoming wealthy, because he has decided that therein lies the secret of happiness, has quite consciously invested time and energy, on a practical level, in order to achieve this end. The longer he continues to fail, the harder it is for him to abandon his ambition. To do so would seem to make worthless all that he had invested. And even if eventually he succeeds, for the same reason how can he admit that being wealthy does not give him the satisfaction he expected? Instead he must go on amassing more and more wealth, in the futile hope that one day it will.

Equally, a person who has quite unconsciously expended quantities of mental and physical energy and again time of course in building an image of superiority for himself, because that, for him, seems to be the secret of ultimate success, finds it hard to give up, and accept himself as he really is. Again, unconsciously, he clings to the value of all that mental and physical effort, reluctant to brand it: ‘Wasted in pursuit of a myth’.

In the Cycle of Ignorance, a person digs himself in deeper with every circuit he completes. It is the perennial ‘rut’; easy to slide into, but progressively harder to get out of.

And although the nature of the Cycle is, by definition, an unchanging state, a static situation, ultimately it is a downward spiral. Because Time is not static. The Universe is not unchanging. And if we are not going forwards with Time, then we are going backwards. If we are not expanding with creation, then we are contacting. If we are not rising, then we are falling. Which is why the ‘rut’ becomes deeper, at every turn of the Cycle of Ignorance.

The downward spiral of blame and hostility, is a perfect example of the Cycle of Ignorance. Man lives by the promise that blame will help him to attain salvation; that it will enable him to separate himself from evil, to be free of it, cleansed of it.

He feels that by blaming others, he becomes, or will eventually become, blameless himself. And he invests great quantities of energy and thought and brilliance and time to becoming a master in the art of blame. Whenever evil strikes, he blames, believing that by so doing he can destroy it, or at least escape from it. He never does either; but each new situation is different enough on the surface, to convince him that: ‘this time, blame will work.’ It does not; but there is always a next time.

No change; no movement; but in relation to the change inherent in the inexorable movement of Time, a change for the worse; a movement downwards.

And man is locked in this downward spiral, simply because he is ignorant, of the nature and the effect and the significance of blame. If he knew not just intellectually with his mind, but with his heart and his soul, with his feeling, with his emotions if he knew the truth about blame why he feels it, what it does to him, what it does to other people, what it leads to if he knew, how and when and where it manifests, all the devious ways in which it operates under the guise of something else, something apparently quite harmless like tolerance for instance if he was not ignorant of all of this, he would not blame; he would have no cause to blame, no desire to blame, no instinct to blame.

Man sincerely thinks that blame will ultimately do him good, that through it he will triumph. He cannot know that it can only do him harm, and that through it he is fast destroying himself.

He has duped himself with a lie; and as long as he believes that lie, he cannot break out of that particular Cycle of Ignorance.

He thinks that he changes, that he evolves, that he is different, that he solves his problems one by one, that he progresses. But the changes are superficial; material, ideological, theological, technological; they help to convince him that things really are different; so that he continues in the same basic pattern, the pattern of blame. Nothing changes there. The instincts are the same; the results are the same. The ‘rut’ is the same ‘rut’—only deeper, because Time moves on, and man is left behind.

THE CYCLE OF IGNORANCE IS STATIC AND UNCHANGING.

Only knowledge, deeply felt knowledge, can break the Cycle of Ignorance. And therefore, by its very nature, it precludes any means of breaking it.

As long as we are ignorant, we are locked in the Cycle of Ignorance; and the Cycle itself perpetuates ignorance.

With a conscious Cycle, where we are aware of the goal for which we are fruitlessly striving, we can go to the point where the promise manifests, and invalidate it.

With an unconscious Cycle, such as the spiral of blame by which humanity imagines it is reaching towards blamelessness, we can learn the Universal Law, and use that knowledge in order to break free.

But to be free altogether of the pattern of the Cycle, seems impossible, as long as there is any ignorance at all in us.

So it seems. But there is a secret. There is a way to be free of it. And the way lies in the true nature of acceptance.

If you can realise for yourself, the truth that the only validity is the present; and totally feel and know the reality of this; then you will have no difficulty in breaking free of the Cycle of Ignorance.

In the present, only the present is valid. Now, only ‘now’ is meaningful.

The past is finished, done. It has validity inasmuch as it has created and led to, brought about and culminated in, the present. That is its validity; that is its part in the present. To bring it otherwise into the present, is invalid. To stand it in front of the present, and evaluate ‘now’ on that basis, is a lie, and an invalidation of the true nature of both past and present.

It is as though you contemplate sitting in a cane chair. If you evaluate the chair as it is, and recognise that the previous state and nature of the cane is valid only inasmuch as it led to the making of the chair, as it is, then you are seeing the chair clearly; and if it seems to you strong and well made, you sit on it. If on the other hand it seems to you weak and insecure, you do not sit on it. But if, although the chair as it is seems strong, you picture the frail nature of cane in its natural state, and you set this in front of the chair in your evaluation, and you think to yourself: ‘Cane, as it grows, could never bear the weight of a human body. It’s too fragile’; and you evaluate the reliability of the chair with this in mind, then your assessment is invalid. Whatever you do is based on a distorted image.

By all means use your past experience, in order to understand the nature of the present. But do not let it diminish or change the importance of the present. Do not let the past trap the present, and distort your vision of it.

The past is finished and done.

The future, on the other hand, is not yet with us. It is in the hands of Destiny. It has a validity, inasmuch as it will become the present; but now, it is not. To stand it in front of the present, and evaluate the present on that basis, is as invalid as it is to do the same with the past.

To see the chair as it is, together with the chair as you judge it will be in twenty years time, old and broken and without strength, and to assess its reliability on that basis, is again invalid.

So the secret, is a complete awareness of the present, and a complete understanding of the true position of both the past and the future.

Non-understanding of the past and future, is one basic cause of the human predicament.

Past and future are the two sides of the eternal conflict of the human mind; because it is the images of the past, and the images of the future, the memories of the past, and the expectations of the future, that are brought into the present by the mind; and the present is assessed and evaluated with these in front of it. They are not used, relevantly and meaningfully; they take precedence.

So the present becomes a conflict; regret of the past and fear of the future, against justification of the past and hope for the future. And behind and between and beneath and within the great mass of images that go to make up this seething conflict, the pure and simple clarity of the present, as it is, is lost.

We should not forget the past, nor should we refrain from looking with anticipation into the future. Memories of the past, lessons and experiences from the past, are not themselves wrong or destructive. They are, on the contrary, often a necessary part of our understanding and experience and assessment of the present.

To see the present clearly we must often relate it to certain relevant aspects of the past. For example, to assess the cane chair, we shall need our past experience of chairs to help our assessment.

Similarly, hopes, aims, visions and speculations of the future are not themselves destructive. They also are often a necessary part of our awareness of the present; particularly in the matter of making plans and decisions. To decide and to act properly in the present, we must often use our judgement of what the future might hold.

But we should not allow either our memories or our anticipations to cloud our vision of the present, only to enhance it. We should not allow them to distort our awareness of the present, to relegate it, to displace it, to reduce its importance, or to take precedence over it.

And the criterion is this. If the past or the future becomes a subjective influence on the present, instead of simply an objective adjunct, then it will distort or displace it.

In the present, we know by what we feel; and to know the present we must feel the present. Feelings about the past and the future can only confuse and mislead. If they are there, allow them, feel them, don’t hide from them, but recognise them for what they are; unreliable and irrelevant to what is. Feelings are only valid in relation to what is. When they emerge in relation to what was or what might be in the future, they can serve only to cloud the issue.

Feel the present. See the past and the possible permutations of the future, whenever it is appropriate. But feel the present. If you find yourself feeling the past or the future, don’t fight it, but simply recognise that to that extent you live in the past or the future, and therefore out of the present, and therefore out of the Game.

To resist it, to try to suppress it, will serve only to strengthen its hold on you. But to recognise it, and accept it, as another aspect of what is, within you, is the first step towards breaking its hold and being free of it.

So do not discard your memories. Use them. But recognise that when memories become vain regrets or nostalgic longings, or the basis of bitterness, blame, rejection, disappointment and despair, if we give them validity, they will lead us into the Cycle of Ignorance.

And do not abandon your anticipations. Use them. But equally recognise that when anticipations become empty promises, desperate longings, agonised obsessions, or frustrated ambitions, if we give them a validity, they too will lead us into the Cycle of Ignorance.

The secret is an understanding of the true significance of the present, despite all images of past and future. If we can see these images, live with them, accept them, use them as they should be used, and yet relate our entire selves, our emotions, our attitudes, our responses and our reactions, with reality, to the present, then we are free of the Cycle of Ignorance.

The goals on which you have fixated your attention are compulsive subjective images of the future, clouding your vision of the present. InvaI4 date such images of the future as being a significant part of the present, and you invalidate those goals.

And the time and energy which you have already spent in futile pursuit of those goals, constitute a whole series of obsessional images of the past, also clouding your vision of the present. Invalidate such images of the past, and you invalidate the burden of importance of all that time and energy.

And if you are, at this moment, fixed in a Cycle of Ignorance, with a specific conscious ambition, which you have identified with the attainment of ultimate satisfaction, and which gives you pain, because you cannot bring it into the present and transform it from a fantasy into a concrete reality, then go to the point where the ambition is most real to you, where you feel it most strongly; the hope of it, the desire for it, the promise of it, the demand for it, the frustration of not having achieved it. Look hard at it. Look hard at that goal, that obsessional image of the future. See it clearly; know it well. Assess its value, in terms of its meaning and significance, in terms of its actuality.

Then turn the coin over. Fears are the opposite of goals. Where there is a goal, there is an equivalent fear on the other side of it. What a man hopes to gain, he also fears to lose. What he demands to have, he also fears to be deprived of. What he aims to be, he is afraid of not being. Where he desperately wants success, he is equally desperately afraid of failure.

So when you have looked at the goal, the ambition, the demand, the hope, look at the fear on the other side as well. Look at the opposite image of the future; the image of failure. See that clearly too; know that well. And assess the value of that, in terms of its meaning and significance, in terms of its actuality.

Look at your fantasies; your images of the future; both the black side and the white side. Then, when you have made them as real as you can make them, look back into the past. Look hard at all the time and energy you have spent trying to achieve the goal, and at the same time trying to avoid not achieving it. Look at the images of the past which relate to that simultaneous hope and fear. See them as clearly as you saw the images of the future. And assess their value, in terms of their meaning and significance, in terms of their actuality.

Then, having seen the past and the future, and having allowed the full extent and reality of their images to come upon you; having given them their full scope; having brought them into the present, as far as it is possible to bring them; look at now. See what is. Know what is. See it as it is, and know it as it is; not as it was, not as it will be, not as it could have been, if. . . not as it might still be, if. . . but as it is.

Then, what has been in the past, can be left behind in the past; truly left behind, not pushed aside because it is unacceptable, but discarded, because it has been accepted. And what might be or might not be, what could be or could not be, what should be or should not be, in the future, can also be left—in the future; truly left, not ignored as too much to hope for, or shut out as too terrible to think about, but discounted, because compulsive hopes and ambitions and demands, have been seen to be irrelevant; the worthless counterparts of fear and hopelessness. All this can be dismissed, in favour of the intense reality, the actuality, and the significance, of what is now.

The human mind is composed of images of past and future.

As long as we are submerged within the conflicts of the mind, we shall see the present, and therefore assess and respond to the present, only through a murky haze of irrelevant images. When we know the truth of the present, the past and the future, know it and feel it, as a reality for ourselves, then we are above the conflicts of the mind, and free of the Cycle of Ignorance.

Time is our enemy, only if we stretch our attention from one end of it to the other.

But if the whole of us is in the present, allowing the past existence only inasmuch as it has created the present, and allowing the future existence only inasmuch as, instant by instant, it will become the present, then Time is on our side.

And the present demands so little, because it is so small; while the past and the future are vast and unwieldy, and demand far more than any of us has to give.

If we serve the present, our existence is a constant living. If we serve the past and future, our existence is an eternal dying.

The great step, the great demand, is that we should break the chains that bind us to the endless agony of past and future, so that we can step free into the joy of service of the present.

Slavery is pain; freedom is joy. And yet, to break from slavery into freedom, demands all the courage and endurance which a being has to muster.

The secret is there. The door stands open; but only for those who have the courage to go through it. For those who have that courage, the rest is simple; because outside of the vast and overwhelming territory of what was and what will be, is only the tiny instant of what is.

So be it.

- Robert

ROBERT DE GRIMSTON

BI 13

The Separation

THE PROCESS
CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT
LONDON
April 1969

COMMUNICATION TO ALL BRETHREN (INFORMATION)

Brethren, As it is,

The separation is within the dimension of Time.

In Time there is that which is of GOD and that which is not of GOD. There is negative and positive; evil and good; sin and virtue; salvation and damnation. There is division; and from the initial division of GOD and GODlessness, there springs the fragmentation of all things, and the scattering of all the parts of One, throughout the Universe of Time and Space.

GOD is divided and divided and divided; until It is stretched from one end of eternity to the other.

But without Time there is no Separation. Ultimately there is no division. There is no right and wrong, or good and evil.

The burden of Time is the conflict of the division. And this is our burden.
We embody the whole separation, from one extreme to the other. We must; otherwise the parts cannot be brought together.

We are stretched across the whole span of the Universe.

We are at the pinnacle of Heaven, and in the deepest depths of Hell.

We are totally good, and at the same time totally bad.

We are wholly of GOD, and we are wholly not of GOD.

We manifest the ultimate of all things, both negative and positive.

And our function is to separate; to raise up that which, within Time, is of GOD, and to condemn that which, within Time, is not of GOD; to create GODliness, and to destroy GODlessness, at the same time manifesting both within ourselves.

And within Time, that is as it is—divided.

But beyond Time, everything is a part of GOD—not of GOD divided, but of GOD united, resolved, and brought together into One.

Within Time, there is an eternity of agony for all beings not of GOD. But when Time is no more, eternity is no more, the Separation is no more.

There is no condemnation, because there is no division. There is no damnation, because there is no Separation.

But until Time is resolved, and all is brought together, we must bear its burden to the ultimate.

We must span the scale from the highest to the lowest.

We must feel the greatest joy, and the greatest agony.

We must embrace the ultimate salvation, and the ultimate damnation.

We must be the very best, and the very worst.

We must hate, and we must love.

We must know perfection, and degradation.

And we must know the Separation, in all its stark and unequivocal intensity.

Before it can be transcended, it must be known, and felt, and experienced, to the ultimate. Black must be the ultimate black, and white the ultimate white; and we must feel and know them both.

For again, there must be Separation, before there can be no Separation.

There must be the ultimate intensity of conflict, before there can be no conflict.

The two ends of the Universe must be disentangled, before they can. be reunited; distinguished, before they can be identified.

If we are clinging desperately and fearfully to something, terrified that at any moment it might be torn from our grasp, then we cannot be truly united with it, until we have first been separated from it—or more accurately, until we have seen that in reality we already are separated from it, by the barrier of our compulsive attachment to it, and until we have seen the true extent of our separation. Because knowledge and awareness are always the only essentials when it comes to action.

To see and to know, are all we are required to do of our own volition. From there we are free to follow, as far as we can, our instincts and our inclinations; to exercise our illusion of choice, according to our own judgement, and the signs that are there to guide us.

However choiceless we may consciously know ourselves to be, until that knowledge has become a true and deeply founded awareness, both conscious and unconscious, there is still the illusion of choice; a basic sense of personal control of our destiny, a sense of individual responsibility. And as long as that is there, we must enact it and attempt to fulfil it.

That—ironically—is a part of our choicelessness; as is the fact that we shall inevitably fail.

If we demand something compulsively of ourselves, we fail to achieve it. And the reason is based upon the fact of choicelessness, and upon the myth, the fallacy, the illusion, that choice exists at all.

And here is the logic of choicelessness.

If you create something from nothing, or, more precisely, from a part of yourself, then whatever that creation does or is, stems from the nature of its creation. If it behaves in a particular way, manifests a particular characteristic, that must be a direct and logical outcome of the way it has been designed and programmed.

In the face of external pressures and circumstances, the -response of the creation, which is what matters, stems directly from the nature of its existence, and therefore from the way it has been created.

But when we speak of creations, we include a factor which contradicts this logic. We include the concept of personal choice. We say that a human being, which is a creation of GOD, has a will of its own which is independent of its creator. And GOD, by Its condemnation of Its creation, on account of its misuse of its power of choice, endorses this.

But this is disownership of the creation. This is saying that what the creation does, stems not from the nature of its creation, but from some independent element, peculiar to the creation, but having no connection with the creator.

So by deciding that a creation has a personal choice of its own, independent of the creator, the creator disowns the creation.

He rejects it. He says: ‘The creation is not wholly mine. It has an existence of its own, which is separate from me. I am not responsible for the way it chooses to be.’ He then demands that the creation exercise the element of choice in one particular direction. He demands obedience.

Now he has already rejected his creation, by maintaining that it has choice and a will of its own, separate from him. By the Universal Law, his creation must in turn reject him. And its only method is disobedience.

REJECT AND YOU MUST BE REJECTED IN RETURN.

So the creation disobeys. It must, in order to fulfil the Law. It quite deliberately fails to meet the demand which the creator makes upon it.

And the irony is this: it has no choice. It is subject to the Universal Law, and therefore cannot do otherwise, but reject its creator, who has rejected it.

So the choice was an illusion, a myth, a fantasy, both for the creation, which really believed it had choice—it felt the power to choose, to decide, to control its destiny— and for the creator, who equally felt his creation’s power to choose.

But it was a lie. Choice does not exist. Every creation in the Universe, on every level, is subject to the Universal Law, which controls everything the creation manifests, and is inevitable~

A man has no more choice than an amoeba.

But why then the lie? Why the illusion? What is it for?

The answer is: ‘the Game’. The illusion of choice is for the Game.

The Game is conflict; creating and destroying; building and demolishing; separating and coming together; rising and falling; disintegrating and reuniting; failing and succeeding; living and dying; winning and losing; loving and hating. That is the Game; and the Game is the essence of existence.

But without the lie; without the illusion of choice, which is the illusion of conflict, which is the root of striving and reaching and hoping, which is the driving force of movement and change and growth and development; without the fantasy of a creation’s control over its own destiny; there is no Game; only a static motionless perfection.

For a game there must be conflict; for conflict there must be choice; for choice there must be rejection; for rejection there must be disownership; for disownership there must be creation and separation. That is the start of the cycle.

Then the cycle must be played out. There is no returning except by completing. The full circle of the Game must be traversed; rejection by rejection by rejection.

And because to create, and then give choice to the creation, is the prime method of rejection, this is the pattern of the Game; a cycle of creation and subcreation.

The creator creates, and rejects. The rejected creation, in order to fulfil the Law, becomes a creator, and itself creates and rejects. And the creations s creation also creates, and rejects. And so the cycle continues; separation on separation on separation.

And each of us, on his level of existence, has been created and rejected, and subsequently each of us has created and rejected.

Demands are made upon us by our creators; demands that we feel within our bones and therefore make upon ourselves; demands that inevitably we fail to meet. And because we reject by such failure, our creators reject us the more, separating us ever further from knowledge of them, from contact with them, from their love and their security.

So we, in our turn, must equally add to our own rejection, through disobedience and failure; and so the spiral downwards into death continues.

And at the same time, we make demands upon our creations; instilling in them a sense of their own personal responsibility, and thereby forcing them to fail in order to reject.

And as long as we pass responsibility downwards, as long as we demand of those below us, demands will be made upon us from above. Responsibility will continue to go down the line; choice will continue to be meaningful to us, whatever we might consciously know to the contrary.

By the Universal Law; as long as we demand from below, it shall be demanded of us from above. As long as we reject by demanding, we shall be rejected.

But we do demand. We demand by desiring, by needing. And there are more demands to be made, more burdens to be carried, more failure, more disappointment, more rejection; before the cycle is complete, and the illusion of choice is taken away.

Pain is conflict. Conflict is choice. Choice is the lie by which the Game is played. And there is more of the Game to be played out before the completion.

We are carrying the burden of choice, which is no less real as a burden for being an illusion.

For us the illusion is still reality, and until we are ready to be freed of the burden, until the time comes for the burden to be lifted, and for us to fall back into the perfect security of total choicelessness, we shall continue to feel the weight of personal responsibility. We shall continue to feel the need to place that burden upon ourselves and one another.

We shall continue to feel the urge to blame ourselves and one another. We shall continue to want to strive amongst ourselves; despite what we cannot help but know. For that is the Game.

But if we know that the pain we feel, whether it is mental or physical, is only a fraction of the pain which the Gods themselves must suffer, to conclude the Game according to the Law; if we know that whatever our burdens, Theirs are a hundred times greater and more agonising to bear; then we can endure with a greater sense of purpose and worthwhileness; then we can find some light of truth in the darkness of the lie.

And if, beside the pain we feel, we hold a separate and independent knowledge of the final lifting of the burdens from our shoulders; if we know our choicelessness, and still enact the choice, without confusing the two and becoming submerged in our fear of alienation; then we can derive an added strength, and a basic reassurance and security, from the faith inherent in this distinction.

The mind thinks, whilst the soul both knows and feels.

But within the Game, knowing and feeling are divided; separated from one another by the conflict of the thinking mind. So that what we know, is not always what we feel.

We know truth; but we feel a lie.

We know love; but we feel hatred.

We know that ultimately there is life; but we feel the all-pervasive presence of death.

We know the Unity; but we feel the Separation.

We know GOD; but we feel the pressures and effects of GODlessness.

We know the ultimate goal of perfection; but we feel submerged in irrevocable imperfection.

We know Heaven; but we feel the restrictions and the horrors of Hell.

We know harmony exists in all things; but we feel ourselves and all existence torn apart by seemingly interminable strife.

And we know that one day we shall no longer be divided within ourselves or from one another, and then we shall know what we feel, and feel what we know, and our souls shall be one.

The conflict of the mind is an intellectual contortion that breeds doubt and misgiving.

The resulting conflict of the soul, itself divided by the mind’s dichotomy, is a searing agony of twisted contradiction. It is the Universe stretched across eternity and nailed in place, helpless and impotent upon the rack of Time.

It is the crucifixion of the core of life. And each one of us embodies his share of the pain.

So do not feel alone, nor that even one moment of suffering is without purpose. The debt is exact, and every grain of agony is counted towards its repayment.

And the cycle is drawing to its inevitable close. And although the feelings of pain are in many ways intensified, yet equally the knowledge of choicelessness and ultimate freedom from the burdens of expiation, expands within us, giving us greater faith and greater powers of endurance.

And as long as we feel the present; live within it, understand it, embrace it, accept it as part of ourselves, and can rise above it; then we may know the future; see it in the distance, imagine it for ourselves, not as something to be striven towards, grasped for, hoped for, reached for, prayed for or even worked for; but as something that must be, a time that must come to us when the task is finished.

We do not aim at the freedom and joy of the future. We only aim at what seems to be the best permutation for the present. The future is something we know. It already exists, prepared for us. And sooner or later, according to the Will of GOD, it will cease to be future and become present.

Then we shall know and feel as one. Then we shall rest in the fulfilment of an undivided soul. Then we shall find peace in a mind no longer torn by conflict. Then we shall receive as we desire to receive, and give as we desire to give.

Then we shall know what we want, not only by what we have, but also by what we feel we want. Then the spark of pure consciousness shall rule within each of us, instead of being subject to the anachronism of a divided unconsciousness.

Then we shall be where we feel we belong. Then we shall do what we feel inclined to do. Then we shall be what we feel the desire to be. Then we shall have what we feel we want to have.

Then we shall love and be loved, give and be given to, know and be known, receive and be received, accept and be accepted, without the pain of conflict and frustration.

Know that future time. Do not grasp for it; that will only intensify the pain of now. But know it; see it; believe in it. For it is the fulfilment of the Divine Will.

So be it.

- Robert

ROBERT DE GRIMSTON

BI 14

The Self

THE PROCESS
CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT
LONDON
May 1969

COMMUNICATION TO ALL BRETHREN (INFORMATION)

1

Brethren, As it is,

No being in the Universe is selfless.

There is no such thing as selflessness—unless it is non-existence. There are no such qualities as altruism or unselfishness.

If we exist at all, then the core of our existence, by definition, must be the self. The spark of pure consciousness, which is the essence, is the self.

We can tie ourselves in knots and drive ourselves around in circles, on a sense of guilt for being selfish, for pursuing a goal of personal survival. And even as we deplore our selfishness, we can become further appalled by the fact that we deplore it because it could lead to our damnation. So that even our desire to be selfless seems to be a completely selfish desire!

There is no future in pursuing selflessness.

We speak of the Salvation of GOD. But why is our purpose to save GOD? Is it selfless altruism?

By no means. We are part of GOD; so GOD’s salvation is our salvation. Are the branches of a tree selfless because they band together to give life to the trunk? No, but they are wise.

We speak of helping one another, as opposed to looking after ourselves. Is this a denial of self?

By no means. Do the oarsmen in a life-boat deny themselves by giving strength to one another? No; they help to ensure their own survival.

What appears to be altruism is awareness. What seems to be selflessness is wisdom. It is the knowledge of the Life Source, and the knowledge of the Universal Law.

It is the awareness that if we save that to which we belong, and upon which we depend, we save ourselves.

It is the awareness that if we give strength to what is of GOD, we shall receive strength in equal measure, from what is of GOD.

And to narrow it down even further; it hinges upon the scope of our identification.

If we identify ourselves with our physical existences, then self, for us, is that; our bodies. Survival of self means survival of the body. Preservation of self means preservation of the body. Satisfaction means satisfaction of the body.

This is a very limited scope. By identifying with our physical existences, we make ourselves destructible, transitory, trivial, and ultimately meaningless.

If we identify ourselves with our social status, then that is the self which we seek to preserve at all costs.

If we feel that to lose our reputations or our positions in society, is to die, to be destroyed; then that is the scope of our identification; again narrow and transitory. Social status is meaningless in ultimate terms.

We can identify ourselves with our material possessions, and feel that at all costs we must preserve them in order to survive; at the same time feeling that the acquisition of more, will lead us towards fulfilment.

Still the scope is small. Self is no more than a set of physical objects and their exchange value.

We can identify ourselves with our profession or calling, and feel that as long as we have that we are alive.

Or we can begin to expand our scope a little, and identify ourselves with an entire social strata; in which case the overall promotion and preservation of that strata becomes part of the promotion and preservation of self. A racist identifies himself with his racial background, and therefore feels that by upholding the cause of others with the same background and origins, he is fighting for his own personal survival.

The scope is wider than physical existence or social standing, but it is still small and meaningless in ultimate terms.

We can identify ourselves with a political ideal, with an entire nation, with a culture, with a moral code, with humanity itself.

True identification on these levels, where there is real dedication on the basis that therein lies the road to the ultimate survival of self, indicates a relatively large scope.

Here we find what is known as selflessness, because the self is identified beyond the scope of the immediate individual existence, and embraces a much wider territory.

Here we begin to see how awareness tells a being that true preservation of self can only stem from the preservation of something much greater and more extensive than self, of which self is a part.

But if we examine the wider territory, if we look closely at that with which the self identifies, we still see only a shallow transitory concept.

Ultimately, what is a political ideal within the Universe? What are national boundaries and differentiations in relation to eternity? What will become of a culture when the world is dead? What is human morality when the human race is .gone? What is humanity when Judgement comes upon the earth?

The awareness only takes the being so far. It reaches beyond the tiny confines of its own personal separateness, but it cannot reach beyond the equally temporary, though somewhat larger, separateness of a human group or a human concept.

That is the criterion. As long as that with which the self identifies, lies within the limits of humanity, as long as it is subject to human laws, human standards, human values, human qualities and human limitations, no matter how vast, no matter how much scope it covers, it is ultimately meaningless; it is transitory and destructible. Like humanity itself, it is subject to death—corruption, decay and death.

As long as the self seeks survival within human terms of any kind, it must be destroyed; just as humanity must be destroyed.

If a framework is destroyed, then everything which exists only within that framework, even if it spans it from end to end, must be destroyed as well.

So with what can the self identify in order not to be destroyed, in order to survive? What is indestructible? What is ultimately invulnerable? Only GOD; the Life Source of all existence.

If a being identifies itself with GOD, and therefore seeks the salvation of GOD in order to ensure its own survival, that is true awareness. That is seeing and knowing the ultimate scope.

Self becomes GOD, and GOD becomes self. Thereby self becomes invulnerable and indestructible.

We speak of self-sacrifice as a virtue, and on one level it is just that, when human-self is sacrificed in favour of higher-self or GOD-self.

But the real sacrifice of self is the identification of self with something human, something of the world, something that must eventually be destroyed. And that is self-destruction.

So if we wish to give meaning to the concept of selflessness, let us call it human selflessness, which is GOD-selfishness, and is a mark of wisdom.

But how to reach a state of GOD-selfishness; how to reach an identification of self with GOD, so that the being feels it and knows it with reality; that is the problem.

We can know that the self must be identified with GOD, and yet feel it only identified with humanity. That is the soul divided. That is the anguish of spiritual conflict.

We can know that the body is a meaningless husk, and yet feel the instinct to protect it and preserve it as though it were ourselves.

We can know that human values are shallow and transitory, and yet feel inextricably involved with them. That is the power of the human mind, which imprisons the soul.

For the soul is like a caged bird. It sees freedom beyond the limits of its narrow confinement; it sees the sky, and understands the difference between what it is and what it could be; it knows that outside is life, whilst inside is nothing but a stagnant death. Yet it is trapped; it cannot reach the life it knows is there.

And the soul sees GOD, knows GOD, understands GOD; but cannot touch GOD, and cannot reach GOD through the rigid and impenetrable barrier of its human existence. And the anguish and frustration of this dichotomy tears the soul apart.

But how to find the freedom, which is seen and known but not felt?

How to identify the self with outside instead of inside; not only with a conscious knowledge, but with a complete awareness, known and felt? How to become the dream of not just seeing, but of being GOD?

O GOD, the pain of seeing and knowing, yet not being able to reach, to touch, to become part of, to be enveloped in, to be absorbed by.

The being cries in helpless despair to its creator.

O GOD, the separation; no longer in blind ignorance and feelingless unreality; but seeing and knowing, and yet feeling the gulf between.

Is this the final pain before the unity? Is this the last agony before the joining together?

Must the Devil rend us before he will relinquish us, and let us return in body, mind, soul and essence, complete, to where we belong?

But where to begin to be free of the pain of separation?

We long to take the final step, to be finally united and absorbed.

But what is the first step?

We see the ultimate, we know the completion; but what is the link between now and then, between here and there, and how do we begin to traverse the link?

The final step is outside the bounds of our human identification; but the first must be inside it, because that is where we are now.

And always knowledge is the key. Each step is a grain of meaningful awareness. Nothing else is truly valid.

Action is the fruit of knowledge; but knowledge is always the source.

Something we must know, in order to begin the journey into life; but what?

What is now—for us? What is here present—for us? What are we—here and now— for ourselves and for one another? What is?

That is knowledge. That is all the knowledge that exists. The rest is speculation.

The bird is in the cage. For the bird, the cage is. The sky will be, but is not, except as a vision of the future.

So in order to know, the bird must know the cage. It must know the sky, but only in order to know more completely, and with reality the nature of the cage in which it is trapped.

The soul is trapped within the mind. In order to know, it must know the mind. In order to know the mind, it must know the human game, which is created by the mind. In order to know the human game, it must know humanity; the player and the pawn of the human game.

The soul may know GOD—must know GOD—but only in order to know humanity; and thereby the full extent of its alienation from GOD.

For there is a way out of the mind. There is a way out of the human game. There is a way out of identification with humanity.

Knowledge is the way out; knowledge of the mind, of the human game, and of humanity.

But again what is the first step?

To know; but to know what? Surely not the entire nature of the mind. That is almost the last step.

No. The first step is to know that we can know.

If we are to know, we must open our eyes and look, and see. But in the pain of our sense of separation we are blinded. So in order to see, we must rise above that pain; feel it, accept it, own it; but instead of sinking beneath it into despair and abject misery, we must know that we are greater than the pain we feel.

That is the first grain of knowledge. That is the first step. To know that we are greater than the pain we feel. To know that we are stronger than the burden we carry. To know that we are of more consequence than the cage in which we are imprisoned.

TO KNOW THAT WE ARE GREATER THAN THE PAIN WE FEEL.

When we know that, we have begun.

That is knowledge of here and now. That is knowledge of what is. That is awareness.

And that is a beginning; because it must lead to further knowledge.

To know our strength and our stature, is to know our power to know. And that is all the inspiration that we need.

We have always said that until the full extent of the alienation is known, there can be no coming together. Until the totality of the rejection is seen, there can be no acceptance. Until the separation is recognised, there can be no rejoining.

So until we know the cage, until we have seen and felt every aspect of it, and how it relates to us; until we have recognised the extent to which we are trapped, how w~ are trapped, and in what we are trapped; we cannot be free of the trap.

Therefore, having taken the first step, having risen above the pain by knowing that we are greater than it, we can take the next and the next and the next.

We can look at the pain. We can know its nature, its strength, its power, and its effects upon us. We can go behind the pain and examine its source. We can look at the guilt and the fear, from which the pain stems; guilt for the past which keeps us in the past, and fear of the future which keeps us in the future; the two anchor-points which hold us stretched across the whole span of Time.

We can see the blame we use to keep the pain in place, We can see the justifications, which maintain the guilt unexpiated, and therefore the fear unresolved.

We can see the deliberate blind ignorance that prevents us from moving towards freedom. We can see the links that bind us to the human game.

The bars of the cage are spaced, so that if we live wholly in the here and now, we can slide through with ease and find the freedom that is outside. But if we are stretched from the distant past to the distant future, nailed down at both extremities of Time, then we are trapped; unable to squeeze even one aeon of our vast unwieldy burden in between them.

For if we live wholly in the here and now, guilt cannot reach us, because it comes from the past; fear cannot touch us, because it comes from the future; we have no desire to blame, no need to justify, and no instinct to be blind. The bars of the cage cannot hold us in.

But that is again a contemplation of the final steps. We are only beginning.

We are behind the bars, examining them; beginning to know the extent to which they do hold us in; the extent to which we do blame, and justify, and are deliberately blind. We are beginning to learn the nature of our guilt, and of our fear.

And step by step, we can know every aspect of the human game and the part we play within it.

And if at any time we collapse, because the pain intensifies and overwhelms us, then we must remember again the first step, which is always the first step, not only from the beginning, but from any point of immobility.

TO KNOW THAT WE ARE GREATER THAN THE PAIN WE FEEL.

Then we can begin again; like the action of standing up in order to move on. Because nothing is lost by falling, as long as we rise again.

As a soldier learns to live with death without succumbing to its morbid terrors, so we can learn to live with our sense of separation from the Source of Life, without despairing.

But if a being does despair; if the sense of futility descends upon it and it collapses, losing the knowledge of its basic strength; if it seems to cease caring enough to fight, and blindness and ignorance overwhelm it completely, so that alone it would die; that is the time when more than at any other, it needs the help of one of its own kind.

When it feels too much pain to know that still it is greater than the pain; when even that basic first step is beyond it, and it cannot stand up in order to move on; then it needs help.

We each of us feel moments of despair, moments of futility; but never all of us at one time. So that when one collapses, another lifts him to his feet, and when the second himself stagnates and is unable to move, the first lifts him and gives him a new incentive.

The lifting may be done in any way that is effective and appropriate: a gentle word or an angry word, validation or invalidation, encouragement or reprimand; anything that works, and enables the person to take that first essential step within the Game. And each of us is different, responding to different effects; and each time we fall is different, requiring a different remedy.

So set no standards on what is needed by a person who is lost in the depths of a sense of futility. Simply be open to inspiration, and do whatever is required to put him on the road again.

If he has done the same for others, it can be done for him. And who has not, at some point in his existence?

IF WHEN WE ARE STRONG AND CONFIDENT, WE GIVE OUR STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE TO GOD AND THE BEINGS OF GOD, THEN WE ARE WEAK AND IN DESPAIR, GOD AND THE BEINGS OF GOD WILL GIVE THEIR STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE TO US. THAT IS THE LAW.

We must go through weakness to reach strength.

We must know despair, before we can find fulfilment.

We must die, before we can be brought to life.

We must fall into the depths of futility, before we can be raised to the heights of ecstasy.

We must feel lost and abandoned, before we can know finally that we belong.

We must know the totality of failure, before we can be given the satisfaction of success.

We must feel the darkness of alienation and GODlessness, before we can see the Light of Truth.

That is the Game; the swing of the pendulum; the Law of a ‘two pole’ Universe.

THE ONLY ROAD TO LIFE, PASSES THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH.

So be it.

- Robert

ROBERT DE GRIMSTON

BI 16

CONTROL IS CONTACT

THE PROCESS
CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT
LONDON
December 1969

COMMUNICATION TO ALL BRETHREN (INFORMATION)

Brethren, As it is.

CONTROL IS CONTACT.

On a purely physical level, the more in contact we are with something, the better and more efficiently we can control our operation of it. The more solid the contact, the more precise the contact, the more complete the contact; the better the control.

A man driving a car has contact with the car, and thereby controls his operation of the car.

But if this man has very little experience of driving, and therefore very little knowledge of the techniques and requirements of driving, his contact is slight. Because contact—even physical contact—involves the mind as well as the body.

For example, the precision of his contact with one of the pedals depends upon his knowledge of the range, resistance, position and effect of that pedal. And that knowledge is an essential part of his contact with that pedal. It enables him to move his foot with confidence and assurance, and to produce the exact effect required at the precise moment he requires it.

And that is control.

If the driver does not know the various idiosyncrasies of the pedal, his contact with it is that much reduced. He may have his foot pressed hard down on it, but his judgement of exactly how much pressure to exert at a given moment, and precisely how far to move it, is poor. Therefore his contact with it and his operation of it are incomplete, imprecise and uncertain. Consequently his control is equally incomplete, imprecise and uncertain.

CONTROL IS CONTACT. CONTACT IS KNOWLEDGE; not only an intellectual knowledge, but also an instinctive knowledge which requires no conscious ‘thinking’ for it to manifest and be effective.

A carpenter can learn how to make a chair out of wood, by reading a book. This gives him intellectual knowledge of the operation; but he still does not truly know how to make the chair. Only by doing it does he discover that.

The intellectual knowledge gained from the book is useful, but it is not enough. The really vital requirement is the instinctive knowledge, the intuitive judgement, which in this case can only be gained from practical experience.

That is knowledge. It’s like the knowledge which enables a musician to move his fingers with exact timing and precision, faster than the eye can follow them and yet with no conscious ‘thought’ of how or when or where.

That is knowledge, which is contact, which is control.

But what is it that a driver and a carpenter and a musician control? The car? The tools and the wood? The musical instrument?

No. It is his relationship with the car that the driver controls, and the outward effects which arise from that relationship. He controls his own operation of the car, his contact with the car, The nature of the car, its capabilities and its limitations, control the car. The driver merely operates it according to those capabilities and limitations, and, within those bounds, controls his operation of it.

Similarly, the carpenter and the musician. The carpenter does not change the basic nature of his tools nor the basic structure of the wood he uses. In that sense he does not control them. But what he does control is the way in which he relates to them, the way in which he uses them and manipulates them within the bounds of these basic factors. And the outcome, the chair he builds is the direct result of that relationship. And the musician controls the way he relates to his instrument, rather than the instrument itself, which does not change.

In each case the outcome measures the standard of control.

If the driver’s control is good, the car performs as he intends it to perform. If his control is poor, he is frustrated because the car will not do what he consciously wants it to do.

If the carpenter’s control is good, the chair he builds is precisely the chair he consciously planned to build. If his control is poor, he is disappointed, because the chair falls below his expectations; in his terms it is imperfect.

If the musician’s control is good, then the sounds which emerge from his instrument are the sounds he consciously wishes to create. If his control is poor, he makes mistakes, and the sounds are not as he intended.

And in each case the control is a control of relationship, and it depends for its precision on contact.

The good driver is in tune with the workings of his car. He relates to it with a deft confidence, and a light sure touch which extracts the best possible performance from it.

The good carpenter is equally in tune with the capabilities and the idiosyncrasies of his tools. Also he has an instinctive feel for the kind of treatment the wood requires, and what can and cannot be done with it. He relates to both with skill and precision, and the result is a beautifully built chair.

The good musician is highly sensitive to every quality of his instrument; the nature of its sounds and how to produce them. He relates to it with a gentle understanding and subtlety, and thereby creates music exactly as he feels the composer intended it.

The quality of the contact stems from knowledge of what is being related to and the nature of the relationship; an intellectual knowledge, but also, and far more important, an instinctive understanding born of sensitivity and awareness.

And just as the contact is primarily a state of mind, so the outcome, which measures the standard of control, is also a state of mind.

We do not say the driver’s control is poor if he fails to drive his car at one hundred miles per hour. We say it is poor if he is unhappy about the car’s performance. Nor do we say his control is good simply because the car performs better than any other. We say it is good if he is truly satisfied with the performance.

Contact is knowledge. If the driver truly knows the car and his relationship with the car, part of his knowledge is precisely what he can and what he cannot expect of the car. Therefore his own satisfaction or lack of it is the criterion.

CONTROL IS CONTACT.

When we relate to other people, when we make contact with them, we control our relationship~ with them and thereby the results and effects of those relationships.

Whether the control is good or bad depends on whether the contact sterns from sensitivity and awareness or blindness and ignorance. And again, it is our own satisfaction or lack of it which is the criterion.

When our relationships go in directions which we thought we were trying to avoid; when clashes and discords arise, or barriers of awkwardness, or embarrassments, or resentments, or mutual dislikes, which we seem to be unable to prevent or eliminate; we are what we call ‘out of control’ of our relationships. Unconsciously we may be controlling them, and deliberately driving them along painful and destructive paths, but consciously, outwardly, we have lost control of them. On the surface, they appear to be controlling us.

And that means we are what we call ‘out of contact’ with the other sides of these relationships. There is contact of a kind, just as the driver whose car skids and smashes into another is in some kind of contact with his car. But what kind of contact?

The carpenter who cannot make a chair which holds together, who cannot make a joint which fits exactly, he has contact with both his tools and the wood. But what kind of contact?

And the musician who cannot keep in tune or in time. The discordant sounds are evidence of the contact. But what kind of contact?

Clearly there is good contact and bad contact. And as a result there is good control and bad control.

Betwee