In desperate need of some money? I suggest you become a guru, because like L. Ron Hubbard was once quoted as saying, "Religion is where the real money is."
We now live in a time in which you are no one without someone telling you how to live. The rich and chic have had gurus, mystics and prophets telling them what to do since the dawn of time, but it has never been as bad as the last 40 years.
I believe it all began with The Beatles following Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who actually became quite famous for his collection of Rolls Royces. Of course it's in total contrast to his teachings against material gain, but I'm just poor, uneducated and worst of all, unenlightened. What do I know, right?
Then came Carlos Castaneda's books which were said to be the teachings of Don Juan Matus, a Yaqui Indian mystic. The collection of teachings fell in pretty good with the times, seeing how they were just a mix of hippy mysticism and psychedelic drug use. Later, it was shown that Mr. Castaneda may have been pulling our leg all along, he could not produce the magical Don Juan nor anyone who knew of this man. Years later, it seems that Carlos lost his marbles, releasing a video called, Tensegrity. Now despite the name, it's basically a "mystical workout" video. Okay people, let's leave our bodies! And one, and two, and three... leave yourself behind. Okay!
Kalil Ghibran, whose books, The Prophet and Sand and Foam I both own and have read, was not at all the peace-loving, wonderful person he wrote himself out to be, but a misogynistic, womanizing, violent drunk.
Joseph Smith, the man who made up the Mormon religion, claims the "Book of Mormon" was given to him by an angel on tablets of pure gold. These great and wonderful tablets could only be seen by we humans when wearing special glasses, of which only Smith had a pair. After writing the book down on paper, he claimed to have lost the tablets and the glasses. I wonder what other relics from God he lost? Diamond-speckled Holy Car Keys? The Silver All-knowing Remote Control?
Then there is Taiwanese pharmacist, Dr. Hon Ming Chen who runs God's Salvation Church. He and his followers travel around the globe every few years when Chen claims Jesus will appear in a specific spot. In 1996 they were found in a Vancouver airport waiting for a flight to come in carrying the Christ child. The flight must have been delayed... not even a mere angel showed up. In 1997 when the group bought a house in Garland, Texas because Chen said Jesus would soon show up on a local TV channel, the media invaded as well, hoping for another Waco or Heaven's Gate. When the due date came and went, Chen poked his head out of the front door and told the media he was full of it, yet the Church still exists and still travels the world awaiting Jeeezus!
There you have it, a way to cash in on your fellow man's inadequacy to run his own life. You could be the next David Koresh, RAEL, Jim Jones, Marshall Applewhite, or Elizabeth Claire Prophet! So, start now. Call today...

1 - 800 - I - B - JESUS

From Issue 3.