WILD, WILD WORLD OF WEIRD
On this
page, you will find weekly entries on strange topics, wacky findings, or just
plain interesting tidbits.
The WWWoW page will only hold ten items, for previous entries scroll below and
click on link provided.
This project is updated randomly when and as new items find their way to me.
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In one of the most hilarious
911 phone calls I have ever heard, Michigan police officer Colonel Edward Sanchez
explains he has just eaten from a batch of brownies he had baked with his wife,
which contained about a quarter ounce of weed.
He thinks he is dying, yet
wants to know the score of a Red Wings game?
Prepare to laugh at a very stupid piggy...
Send help, I think I'm dead (842 Kb mp3 @ 24Kbps)
The police officer was allowed to quit the force without being charged even though he admitted to obtaining the marijuana by stealing it from a suspect.
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Morning radio talk host
Don Imus was fired for his "nappy headed hos" remark, but what did
people really expect out of someone who makes a living of being called a "Shock
Jock"?
Especially after this...
Below is a clip of the record, This Honky's Nuts, which was originally released in 1974.
"Swear With Flair" [excerpt] (2.4 Mb @ 64Kbps)
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Cho Seung-Hui, a 23-year-old English major, was the college student responsible for the Virginia Tech slaughter (32 killed) on April 16, 2007. He was referred to counseling the previous year when teachers became aware of extreme violence in his writings, as evidenced in this one-act play. The play, Richard McBeef, was submitted as part of a writing class, and features a 13 years-old boy who gets revenge on his father for molesting him.
Click on image to go to
cover sheet, onward to page one, and so on through to page ten.
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One of my favorite planets is Saturn. Though I don't believe in astrology, it could be its connection to death and destruction, or the celebration of the Saturnalia (Winter Solstice) for Dionysus (Bacchus).
So when the Cassini Radio and Plasma Wave Receptor picked up sounds from Saturn, I was mystified.
In this link provided, the CRPWR has picked up lightning inside of Saturn's atmosphere. The lightning-related radio emissions cover a broad range of frequencies, and last only about one-thirtieth of a second. The CRPWR recorded a strong thunderstorm beginning on January 23, 2006, the radio emissions appear as speckles at random frequencies above about 2 MHz.
Saturn's lightning (220 Kb wav file = 30 seconds)
Next, we find that Saturn is a source of intense radio emissions of electrostatic discharges, with rising and falling tones is very similar to Earth's auroral radio emissions. The radio waves are closely related to the auroras near Saturn's poles, and are similar to Earth's northern and southern lights. The Cassini spacecraft began detecting the following radio emissions in April of 2002.
Saturn's polar radio emissions (720 Kb wav file = 70 seconds)
In this last file we can hear another clip of the electrostatic discharges from April 2002 recording where we find a very complicated interaction between waves in Saturn's radio source region, though it is an interaction which has also been observed on Earth.
Saturn's polar radio emissions (130 Kb wav file = 15 seconds)
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I love my friends... but, when I'm late to a wedding, they can sure enough hate me.
Listen to 60's funk and parody artist Blowfly put a curse on me for my tardiness: Blowfly chews out webmaster (600 Kb wav file).
If you are unaware as to who Blowfly is, you are so very uncool. You dig?
Okay, Blowfly is Miami's
original, and world's first, dirty rapper. Sexist, racist, offensive... but
you'll love every word of it.
Blowfly was born Clarence Reid in
Cochran, Georgia and later moved to Miami, Florida and soon got his act solid
when a relative scolded one of his dirty rhymes with, "You is nastier than
a blowfly."
He released his first record in 1965, and "Rap Dirty" was to be the
first of the dirty-dance numbers, let alone the first rap album. He followed
that sucker up with close to forty more releases and even a documentary film,
The Twisted World of Blowfly.
His tracks have been sampled by Puff Daddy, Ice Cube and Jurassic 5.
Blowfly has also written clean numbers for the likes of Betty Wright and KC
and the Sunshine Band.
He was almost forgotten and chances are you would have never heard of him if
it wasn't for local journalist Tom Bowker (who set up Blowfly's new band, and
was the wedding I was late to).
His newest album featuring filthy remakes of punk rock classics is available
via ex-Dead Kennedys singer Jello Biafra's label Alternative
Tentacles Records.
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In the 1950s many underground
Russian nightclubs couldn't get a hold of actual black market vinyl to spin
for their dance floors, so they had to make due with what they had.
A group of DJs would gather dough and buy a single record, which they would
then record and repress on a wax-disc cutter. The vinyl used for these presses
being hard to get a hold of, as well as expensive, they - again - had to make
due.
What many a disc jockey used was old X-rays films. Easily obtained from medical
trash, or sometimes stolen from doctor's labs, they were actually pretty abundant
at the time.
This technique then spread to Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia and even Poland.
It also shows the enterprising technical skills of the young lads who just want
to dance
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A few weeks ago I posted
files showing artists like Salvador Dali and Andy Warhol shilling for Alka-Seltzer,
TDK audio tapes and Braniff Airlines.
It got a cyberbuddy and I discussing whoredom, and it turns out we are all whores,
even some of my favorite people...
Freshly posted for your viewing pleasure I uploaded German commercials from
Blixa Bargeld of Einsturzende Neubauten
discussing some of his favorite paints, power tools and home products - or at
least the ones he was paid to talk about.
The commercials are from a German do-it-yourself hardware store called Hornbach and he covers the subjects of:
INSECT ZAPPER (Quicktime file @ 8 Mb)
STEPPING STONES (Quicktime file @ 5 Mb)
POWER DRILL (Quicktime file @ 6 Mb)
SILICONE PAINT (Quicktime file @ 7 Mb)
Well, at least they are some of the greatest (and funniest) commercials ever.
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If Ian Curtis (July 1956 - May 1980) of postpunk band Joy Division hadn't already killed himself... he would surely want to now.
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In 1974 avant-garde composer
Max Neuhaus was working the night shift on National Public Radio.
In a flash of brilliance, he decided to run a few of the phone lines in sync.
Now, back then each station affiliate individually received the signal from
the main broadcast headquarters stationed in New York City via NPR's Round Robin
Network.
Neuhaus hooked up an extra signal to one station, and asked that station to
hook up a signal to another, and then that station to another, and on to another,
to lastly to one in Chicago, which broadcast the signal back through the previous
three stations and onto the NYC headquarters.
He then requested callers to call in and whistle...
The following link is an edit of the one-hour sound experiment he broadcast titled "Radio Net" [a 3 Mb mp3 @ 128Kbps].
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Virtuoso jazz bassist (and pianist) Charles Mingus wrote a pamphlet in 1964 on toilet training your kitty.
1
First, you must train your cat to use a homemade cardboard litter box, if you
have not already done so. (If your box does not have a one-piece bottom, add
a cardboard that fits inside, so you have a false bottom that is smooth and
strong. This way the box will not become soggy and fall out at the bottom. The
grocery store will have extra flat cardboards which you can cut down to fit
exactly inside your box.)
Be sure to use torn up newspaper, not kitty litter. Stop using kitty litter.
(When the time comes you cannot put sand in a toilet.)
Once your cat is trained to use a cardboard box, start moving the box around
the room, towards the bathroom. If the box is in a corner, move it a few feet
from the corner, but not very noticeably. If you move it too far, he may go
to the bathroom in the original corner. Do it gradually. You've got to get him
thinking. Then he will gradually follow the box as you move it to the bathroom.
(Important: if you already have it there, move it out of the bathroom, around,
and then back. He has to learn to follow it. If it is too close to the toilet,
to begin with, he will not follow it up onto the toilet seat when you move it
there.) A cat will look for his box. He smells it.
2
Now, as you move the box, also start cutting the brim of the box down, so the
sides get lower. Do this gradually.
Finally, you reach the bathroom and, eventually, the toilet itself. Then, one
day, prepare to put the box on top of the toilet. At each corner of the box,
cut a little slash. You can run string around the box, through these slashes,
and tie the box down to the toilet so it will not fall off. Your cat will see
it there and jump up to the box, which is now sitting on top of the toilet (with
the sides cut down to only an inch or so.)
Don't bug the cat now, don't rush him, because you might throw him off. Just
let him relax and go there for awhile-maybe a week or two. Meanwhile, put less
and less newspaper inside the box.
3
One day, cut a small hole in the very center of his box, less than an apple-about
the size of a plum-and leave some paper in the box around the hole. Right away
he will start aiming for the hole and possibly even try to make it bigger. Leave
the paper for awhile to absorb the waste. When he jumps up he will not be afraid
of the hole because he expects it. At this point you will realize that you have
won. The most difficult part is over.
From now on, it is just a matter of time. In fact, once when I was cleaning
the box and had removed it from the toilet, my cat jumped up anyway and almost
fell in. To avoid this, have a temporary flat cardboard ready with a little
hole, and slide it under the toilet lid so he can use it while you are cleaning,
in case he wants to come and go, and so he will not fall in and be scared off
completely. You might add some newspaper up there too, while you are cleaning,
in case your cat is not as smart as Nightlife was.
4
Now cut the box down completely until there is no brim left. Put the flat cardboard,
which is left, under the lid of the toilet seat, and pray. Leave a little newspaper,
still. He will rake it into the hole anyway, after he goes to the bathroom.
Eventually, you can simply get rid of the cardboard altogether. You will see
when he has got his balance properly.
Don't be surprised if you hear the toilet flush in the middle of the night.
A cat can learn how to do it, spurred on by his instinct to cover up. His main
thing is to cover up. If he hits the flush knob accidentally and sees that it
cleans the bowl inside, he may remember and do it intentionally.
Also, be sure to turn the toilet paper roll around so that it won't roll down
easily if the cat paws it. The cat is apt to roll it into the toilet, again
with the intention of covering up- the way he would if there were still kitty
litter.
It took me about three or four weeks to toilet train my cat, Nightlife. Most
of the time is spent moving the box very gradually to the bathroom. Do it very
slowly and don't confuse him. And, remember, once the box is on the toilet,
leave it a week or even two. The main thing to remember is not to rush or confuse
him.
Good luck.
(signed) Charles Mingus
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