1 - Tell us how your project(s) were started.
I’m in a group called the Upright Citizens Brigade. I’m too lazy to talk about my project but you should definitely come see it because I’m going to set a goat on fire.
2 - What does music, in it's entirety, mean to you?
I must have music on at all times. I like loud hard music. It puts me at ease. Classical and jazz make me nervous and irritable. I’ve always wanted someone to ask me what I have in my CD player right now so I will pretend that you asked me. The Transplants. I hated it on my first listen and now I’m chanting every song. Joe Strummer rap.
3 - What does art, in it's entirety, mean to you?
It’s really hard to answer any question with the word art and not appear totally pretentious but in short I invented art. My freshman year in college a lot of us were stoned and doing economics homework and one thing led to another and suddenly there was art and then the museums caught on and galleries and soon everyone was into art. All that stuff that came before my freshman year in college that people call art is just bullshit. I created the concept of art. You’re welcome.
4 - Who is your favorite author, and why?
Beyond reading my own diary every day I’d have to give you a list of authors. Phillip Dick is the best. He’s thought of every single fuck with reality story that you can imagine. On that same note Phillip Roth’s book Counterlife is a good mind f and very relatable to any artist who has used their own family as their subject for their art. Bruce Jay Friedman is the funniest (Stern, Mother’s Kisses). Terry Southern is the coolest (Magic Christian).
5 - As your best friend, describe yourself.
These next two questions are pretty gay. And I don’t mean gay like homosexual gay I mean like gay gay. Why do I have to "be honest" about a negative description of myself but not with the positive description. Why don’t you do some real reporting and ask my best friend and worst enemy? Take your pick.
6 - As your worst enemy, describe yourself.
Gay gay gay. Oh...And another thing about "art". Art is using the word "fuck" a lot but not too much. But back to the gay "enemy question", I mean really. Why do I need to help out my enemies here by giving out some insult lines for them here? Let them do their own work.
7 - If your persona were immortalized as a cartoon character, who would it be?
I find this question poorly worded. But then again most of my answers have been worded poorly so I’ll try to guess what you mean. I can’t tell if you want me to make up a cartoon character which represents my personality or do you want me to pick an existing cartoon character which I feel most closely resembles my personality or should I pick the existing cartoon character which I’d most like to be? Doug Allen does a strip called Steven a little boy who is always saying "no" to everyone. I like him. I’d like to hang out with him for like half a day.
8 - Do you think there are conspiracies against the "everyday person"?
Everyone is trying to rip you off and get your money you can count on that. And the Priests all want to fuck you in the booty hole. And the Republicans want to scare you to death. But other than that "no".
9 - What do you do with your spare or free time?
What’s the difference between spare time and free time? That’s the real question. Spare time is for rich people. Free time is for cheap people.
10 - Please give us your interpretation of "the meaning of life".
Create art. And in the creation of art know that if you choose to look into the orb of eternal knowledge then you might realize all that your soul can encompass is merely a shadow of that which you already have and in that you can find solace in knowing that freedom of mind and spirit is almost as important as the Arkansas Razorbacks. Wooooo pig soooooooeeeeeeee!
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